You haven’t truly made it as a celebrity until someone asks you to sign their tits. An autographed breast is a groupie status symbol, hastily-scrawled proof that someone famous — and therefore, probably someone hot — has touched your rack. Stars seem to love it, too. Nicki Minaj memorably rapped, “If I’m in your city, I’m signin’ them tig-ole bitties,” and singer Fletcher was so pumped about signing boobs that she later asked fans to send her videos.

does anyone have videos of me signing boobs last night

— FLETCHER (@findingfletcher) February 26, 2022

Gotchu pic.twitter.com/o5zqW9IwM2

— (@Shinoboii) February 27, 2022

Here bb pic.twitter.com/fqD4w7XU2M

— Giada (@findingGiada) February 26, 2022

pic.twitter.com/zExGGmbAKP

— lena (@INANYCAPARTMENT) February 26, 2022

That said, despite the cultural ubiquity of the humble autographed bosom, there’s been little historical inquiry into who signed tits for the first time. Let’s rectify that.

Autographs have existed since ancient times, experiencing brief surges in popularity throughout history. During the 16th and 17th centuries, it wasn’t uncommon to create alba amicorum, or friendship books. In the blessed days before holidays were commemorated with blurry selfies in front of famous monuments, travelers would sketch the people they met on their trips, and collect inscriptions — autographs, basically — from new friends, showing off their fancy, embossed friendship books upon their return.

The autograph book made its way to America in the 1800s, beloved by students who collected endorsements, poems and jokes from their professors. These were pre-cinema times, and although celebrity culture existed in some ways, it wasn’t the beast we now know. Autographs would likely be signed by either people you knew and respected — your teachers, for example — or scholarly, literary and religious figures. Obviously, not all academics are prudes, but assume that the tits-out signatures weren’t popular at the time.

In terms of ink on bare tits, identifying the first-ever incident may be an impossible task, but we do know of an early occasion with Elvis Presley, thanks to a pretty hilarious 1957 article about Presley and his “Doll Point Pen.”

Published in Confidential Magazine, the gossipy headline reads: “Leave It to Elvis the Pelvis to Start New Fads. You Ought to See Where He’s Signing Autographs These Days!” It’s a journalistic masterpiece, the prose laced with scandal. Per the article, after performing in a sleepy Texas town, Elvis started to leave the venue when he heard the siren call of a lascivious fan. Asking for an autograph, she “pulls a sheer blouse off her shoulders, revealing a low-cut bra.”

This apparently wasn’t a rarity either; swooning young women had heard all about The King’s hijinks, wasting no time in exposing their racks for his signature. Meanwhile, his future wife Priscilla later remembered being revolted by his boob-signing antics. “I was so disgusted,” she recalled. “I was like, ‘Oh my God that is so terrible, that’s so vulgar, I can’t believe it.”

The heyday of rock ‘n’ roll — and its horny groupies — arrived soon afterward, and rock stars gamely signed fans’ tits after shows much more regularly. It’s a practice that continues today, immortalized by scenes in movies like Happy Gilmore and by everyone from Harry Potter stars to David Attenborough’s brother who have shared their bemused tit-signing experiences with the public.

All of which is to say: Times have changed significantly since the sweet and wholesome friendship books of the 1500s. Now, does an autograph really matter if it wasn’t scrawled across your chest?